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lawngreen:

*likes ur post* yes this is the post for me!

(via shutupaubrey)


>my face when Americans call chips “french fries”>my face when Americans call crisps “chips”>my face when Americans call lifts “elevators”>my face when Americans call chocolate globbernaughts “candy bars”>my face when Americans call merry fizzlebombs “fireworks”>my face when Americans call wunderbahboxes a “computer”>my face when Americans call meat water “gravy”>my face when Americans call electro-rope “power cables”>my face when Americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a “burger”>my face when Americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblies “pens”>my face when Americans call twisting plankhandles “doorknobs”>my face when Americans call breaddystack a “sandwich”>my face when Americans call their hoghity toghity tippy typers “keyboards”>my face when Americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings “PB&J”>my face when Americans call an upsy stairsy an “escalator”>my face when Americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a “sweater”>my face when Americans call a rickity-pop a “gear shift”>my face when Americans call a choco chip bucky wicky a “cookie”>my face when Americans call peepee friction pleasure “sex”>my face when Americans call a pip pip gollywock a “screwdriver”>my face when Americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a “gun” >my face when Americans call ceiling-bright a “lightbulb”>my face when Americans call blimpy bounce bounce a “ball”>my face when Americans call a slippery dippery long reppy a “snake”>my face when Americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops “roads”

>my face when Americans call chips “french fries”
>my face when Americans call crisps “chips”
>my face when Americans call lifts “elevators”
>my face when Americans call chocolate globbernaughts “candy bars”
>my face when Americans call merry fizzlebombs “fireworks”
>my face when Americans call wunderbahboxes a “computer”
>my face when Americans call meat water “gravy”
>my face when Americans call electro-rope “power cables”
>my face when Americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a “burger”
>my face when Americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblies “pens”
>my face when Americans call twisting plankhandles “doorknobs”
>my face when Americans call breaddystack a “sandwich”
>my face when Americans call their hoghity toghity tippy typers “keyboards”
>my face when Americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings “PB&J”
>my face when Americans call an upsy stairsy an “escalator”
>my face when Americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a “sweater”
>my face when Americans call a rickity-pop a “gear shift”
>my face when Americans call a choco chip bucky wicky a “cookie”
>my face when Americans call peepee friction pleasure “sex”
>my face when Americans call a pip pip gollywock a “screwdriver”
>my face when Americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a “gun” 
>my face when Americans call ceiling-bright a “lightbulb”
>my face when Americans call blimpy bounce bounce a “ball”
>my face when Americans call a slippery dippery long reppy a “snake”
>my face when Americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops “roads”

(via deathclaw)

MICROSOFT NAMED THEIR SMARTPHONE’S VERSION OF SIRI “Cortana” thats SOOO fucked up

(via pupbutt)

(via jailor)

(Sobbing) Please, someone, fuck me, I’ll do anything
Barack Obama, after having TOO MUCH to drink at the White House one night……………………………… (via oolongs)

(via oolongs)

why is this tip so specific

why is this tip so specific

one of my coworkers is actively trying to sabotage my work performance by pretending to make drinks while im taking orders and taking breaks while we’re in the middle of a rush but i think he really underestimates how wicked i can be you cant win this battle bxtch

Kanye West - I Am A God
21,827 plays

808sandkanye:

Kanye West - I Am A God

I LIED ABOUT WORK BEING SLOW IT WAS REALLY TOUGH

work is soooo fucking slow

(via dirtywrat)

hellabitcoins:

ilovesmoothjazz1998:

hellabitcoins:

aliwav:

listen you boutta have the thickest smoodie of all time, where is your liquid? your ice? weak ass aesthetics, try again

smh they leave the strawberry tops on… might as well leave the gotdam banana peels on

hellabitcoins
u can eat strawberry tops… & recent studies are showing banana peels are healthy n nutritious for u:…. The turntables

n im sure the outside of a coconut is mad high in fiber but im not bout ta eat woodchips cause of no govermence scienticians

hellabitcoins:

ilovesmoothjazz1998:

hellabitcoins:

aliwav:

listen you boutta have the thickest smoodie of all time, where is your liquid? your ice? weak ass aesthetics, try again

smh they leave the strawberry tops on… might as well leave the gotdam banana peels on

hellabitcoins
u can eat strawberry tops… & recent studies are showing banana peels are healthy n nutritious for u:…. The turntables

n im sure the outside of a coconut is mad high in fiber but im not bout ta eat woodchips cause of no govermence scienticians

(via cactusguy)